Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
