i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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