Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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