I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
