Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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