there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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