he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
