If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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