his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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