I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the raccoons are back...
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