I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
