I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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