I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
