Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
