I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
