physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You took a bar mat shot.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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