imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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