i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
