i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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