I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
