tell your sister to shave her snatch
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Someone shattered a urinal.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
