Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
