the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
