Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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