Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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