I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
