I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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