Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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