The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
