you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
