i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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