I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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