Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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