IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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