He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
