btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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