i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
