i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
birth control should be required to get into college
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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