You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
