i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
