he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
