Sponge bath it is.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
