and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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