So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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