Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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