Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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