remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
my poor anus
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
