You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
