my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
