Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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