one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
