What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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