Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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