I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
