Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
