she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
