Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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