i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
