How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
