in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Randomize
